An Epistle from the Land of Kangaroos

Hark all ye Larsenites and Friends!

Hearken unto the sound of my typing. Yea, the very keyboard doth tremble as the words flow from my fingers! I do now commence mine weekly epistle and do send it out unto the Larsenites, and unto the Gentile and to the Jew alike.

Yea, and it came to pass that I, Elder Larsen, did commence to read the epistle sent to me by the righteous people of Larsen, and I did behold many questions. I do now respond to these questions that were asked of me.

I, Elder Larsen, having been born of goodly parents....

The food most desirable above all

Now behold, that in response to a question concerning the foods that I have consumed while in the Land of the Kangaroos, I do report that the food most desirable above all is that flesh which doth come from a chicken, on pieces of buttered bread. Yea, behold thus it has been eaten many a time in the humble abode of the missionaries for its exceeding good taste and the cheapness of the material thereof.

This isn't Tonga, but we can still learn to crack coconuts!

That which is most abominable to consume

And I commence to respond to another question. And thus it was decided that the food least desirable above all foods in the Land of Kangaroos was that which came from rancid carrot cakes. Yea, the very thought of such an abominable substance doth cause my very soul to tremble in fear and disgust. O the wickedness of the children of cakes! Wo unto them that shall consume such, for unto them shall a horrible taste coat their tongues. And what more, their stomachs shall heave, and remove that which is most abominable to consume from their bodies. Thus I have written.

Yea, and it came to pass that I, Elder Larsen, did continue to drive the motor vehicle into the second week, yea, even in the commencement of the third week did I operate the vehicle safely in the Land of Backwards Driving, of Little Traffic, and of Large Distances to Travel. Yea at this time, I, Elder Larsen, have begun to travel with ease and with great efficiency in the Land of Scorching Sunlight.

She did come into the Chapel and did worship amongst the other believers

And now, I do respond concerning those to whom we declare the everlasting gospel unto; For behold, in the day preceding this one, I did behold that R______, the lover of the descendants of the Lamanites, did attend church. Yea, she did come into the chapel and did worship amongst the other believers! My heart rejoiceth of such! For she did have the opportunity to partake of the fruits of attending church, those fruits being the Spirit, friendship, and love. Now behold, I do suppose that R______ did have an experience that did cause her to have a mighty change of heart. But behold, I would do well not to get carried away in rejoicing. For as of yet, we have not had the opportunity to question her thoroughly concerning her worship yesterday. Yet we have made preparations to go unto her home and meet with her in the coming days.

Yea, and also he who has been mentioned in previous epistles, yea the returned missionary did attend church once more. And behold, he did much to assist the missionaries laboring in the Land of Kangaroos. And we do rejoice because of his progression.

The Southern Cross! on the ground.....

J____ does not live in our ward boundaries

Now, it also came to pass, that in the day preceding this one, that J_____ did also attend church with the Tongan boys. Yea, and he did likewise partake of the joy and spirit that church attendance provides. My heart was full, even unto bursting! For J_____ has progressed! He desires to come unto Christ, our Lord and Savior! To this point it has not been decided when he shall partake of the fruit of the tree of life. But it shall come to pass. But it has also come to our attention that said J_____ does not live in our ward boundaries. Yea, it is possible, even probable that I and my companion should have to pass J_____ along to our inspired leaders, yea the zone leaders of the Canberra zone, to receive the blessings of the Gospel. But alas! God doth call many to labor in the vineyard, and it mattereth not to whom may have the opportunity to administer of the ordinance of baptism unto the children of men.

Now I do write concerning the people of K____. Thus it came to pass, that my brother in the field, Elder Cocker, and I were unable to make contact with said family. Yea, in the final half-hour before the scheduled time and day, behold we received an epistle from the leader of the people of K____, explaining that said appointment must be postponed to a later date. And we wait.

I did say that which only the most vile of sinners do utter

And it came to pass, that as I commenced to read the epistle of the Larsenites, that I did ponder on a question asked of me, that question being "which moment brought you the most shame of your experiences in the Land of Kangaroos?" And I pondered. A moment that dost come to mind concerns a time when my brother in arms, Elder Cocker, did attempt to teach me to speak in the language of his fathers, the people of Tonga. And as I was thus practicing the language of his fathers, I did say that which only the most vile of sinners do utter in the land of his fathers, while attempting to articulate that which is wholesome and good. Yea, I did pollute my mouth without a knowledge of the thing I had done, and my brother in arms did stare in shock, and did commence to laugh at me. And thus did I learn that I, Elder Larsen, am not mighty unto speaking the language of the fathers of my brother in arms.

Behold, it came to pass that the Larsenites beheld the pictures sent forth from Elder Larsen.
And there was great joy and happiness in the Land of Stars and Stripes. 

Yea, and pertaining to the highlights of the week, I have save one more to report. Seven days previous, we did enter into a house of reptiles and did see the monsters of the Land of Kangaroos. We did behold deadly serpents in captivity, and creepers of the earth. And thus it was.

There he is.... The deadliest of the deadly. I got to pet him. Just kidding!

 


And I did behold that the people of the house of Larsen did fare well in the Land of Stars and Stripes. And it brought happiness and joy unto my heart to see such joy.

America! You can't tell.... But this is like right next to the massive lake in the center of Canberra,
between the parliament house and the war memorial.

Unto them, I do convey the love of my heart. Unto them I do also wish a great week. And thus, I, Elder Larsen, do end mine epistle. Amen.

Zone massage! (Elder Boswell from the MTC in front, followed by ZL Elder White, then Cederlof, ZL Elder Shafer, Elder Ee, Elder Roberts, Elder Cocker taking a video on the right [I can't tell who is behind Elder Roberts]).

At a member's house; his lion rings. The purple one is made of ruby..... :0